Avoidance and Acting My Age

A few outfit ideas & sales, and probably more about me than you need to know

Feb 01, 2026

Met some friends for dinner last night and what a welcome site it was to hang with other folks. New jeans (no stretch, so be warned) and a cozy coat were just right for our evening out.

Hi all!

What a week in Nashville. Still some without power here, but we were fortunate to keep ours. There’s a lot of clean up to do in the coming weeks, but we’ll let the temps rise before we start working on the tree limbs.

The Sweetfringebenefit is a long one. Sheesh. I’ve never been good a brevity. I always enjoy your comments! Whether you are replying to the email or commenting on substack. Always good to know someone is reading these!

Not as many outfit ideas, but added a “Not to Miss” section with a few sales and things I’m loving!

Nanette

Sweetfringebenefit of the week

Each week I find the good, the sweet in a moment or season that is hard, challenging, nasty or difficult.

I’ve always been really good at avoidance.

Don’t look at your bank account because then you won’t know how much money you don’t have.

Don’t step on the scale because they you won’t know how much weight you’ve gained.

Don’t open those retirement account statements because….well, you know,

Don’t go to the doctor because, 1) scale, 2) “you really should lose weight, 3) what you don’t know…

Don’t ask how it went because in your brain you’ve already gone to worst case scenario and you don’t want it confirmed.

So now you’re probably wondering how I ended up with a blog/social media presence about positivity and finding the good, the sweet, in the hard and ugly.

Ha! It’s because my natural instincts are pessimism.

But here’s the thing about aging and increasing years. I’ve just learned to shut my eyes, deep breath and press forward. I realized a few years ago that my eating habits were like a 7 year old. And that I was definitely not 7 years old. And that I needed to start acting my age.

And so, I did a little better.

I stopped buying goldfish unless my grandkids were here, started making the appts, going to the dr, hearing the hard news (that actually wasn’t that hard anymore). And, it turns out that you don’t have to step on the scale if you aren’t taking medications, or, you can just ask them to please not say your weight out loud and look away when you do. Guess what, doctors haven’t told me to lose weight either. They let the facts speak for themselves. (A couple years ago I did get the report that I needed to work on my triglycerides which also prompted my health journey.)

One of the best things we did was get a real financial advisor a few years ago. Someone who wasn’t afraid to ask the questions that I really didn’t want to answer. It turns out, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Pretty much the theme to everything. Coming from a naturally born pessimist.

We met with our advisor again this week. Had some good conversations about what the next 10-15 years might look like. Something that I really don’t like to do.

I think I know why.

Because I’m really happy with right now. Where we live. What we are doing. And I just don’t want anything to change.

But it doesn’t mean that everything has to change. I think that was an ah-ha moment for me. That looking down the road, while I know many things will change, we don’t have to make the big changes. Not yet at least. But having a discussion is still important. And not avoiding it.

I realized that a huge Sweetfringebenefit of being 61 years old is that I am finally doing things I thought I never would. Or never wanted to. Or was really good at avoiding. AND, I’m doing them by my own (and Dougie’s) volition. Kind of wish I had learned those lessons in my 30s and 40s, but I didn’t. And that’s okay. It just took me a little longer.

A favorite from this week

A few outfits from this week. Tap on the photo and you’ll be directed to my LTK with links to the entire outfit. I’ve added a few direct links under each photo as well.

I wore the outfit on the left for work from home and errands. I do love the barrel jean, but realized I have some other black jeans that ya’ll might enjoy.

Here’s the thing about this outfit. It took 5 minutes to get dressed. I wanted something simple, yet warm. So I knew it would be jeans and a sweater. The black barrels are my most comfy, and a bit funky. But with the black and tan, I needed a pop of color, so I chose red. Added the leopard print scarf quickly and was surprised how much I loved it.

Another tip? Even with the scarf, I still wore a necklace stack underneath. I learned that from a Pinterest outfit last fall. Its the little details that really make an outfit standout, not whether its high dollar, colorful or trendy.

Tap the picture above to shop the outfit, but here’s the details on the jeans:

1: Barrel jean that isn’t entry level. It is…barrel-y. Under $100 and love them.

2: A straight leg no fade black denim. Classic, also on sale.

3: A relaxed straight leg with nice stretch in a washed black. $50

Not to Miss

I provide links to sales that I’m shopping and think you’ll want to as well. I do make a small commission (called affiliate commission) if you make a purchase through my links at no additional cost. The brand pays for it, think of it as coming out of their marketing budget.

Abercrombie 20-40% off with extra 15% off code DENIMAF They have jeans for just about every body type and any style. From skinny, to barrel, loose fit to wide leg. Gosh found some great tops too. Check out these fun embroidered beach themed hoodies! And I love this Maine sweater. (The link might not open to the exact sweater, tap on the red strip icon.)
Ann Taylor 30% off + 15% off sitewide, including my favorite navy blazer that also comes in winter white. I’m loving the new collection filled with blue and white! Check out my favorites here Look at this skirt & top! So many ways to wear it.
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Athleta 25% off plus an extra 10% off through 2/2. Don’t miss the popular endless pants (true to size) perfect for athleisure, work, travel and everything in-between. I also picked up this new performance white blouse (I sized down) and this cotton white tee (not heavy, but substantial wide band crewneck that’s great under sweaters and on its own.)
Bauble Bar statement necklaces come in so many fun colors. I love this two toned blue one, and these solid color necklaces are $18 off with code BEHAPPY
Chicos denim is on sale. Just picked up these tapered denim trousers (subtle barrel but shouldn’t scare you away) and these skinny jeans…but a modern version we would call a cigarette jean that’s becoming popular. Nice dark wash, great fit for us older gals. My regular size 1.0 is a relaxed fit in both.
LOFT is 48% off!! And I’m loving their new arrivals. Cutest striped sweater for now and later, this blue & white dress (shower season is right around the corner) and I love this quilted jacket, perfect with jeans.
I tried the Our Place Always pan 2.0 and now get the hype. I have an induction cooktop and it worked perfectly. (Also works on electric and gas) Very little cleanup and no toxic coating.
Talbots new arrivals 25% off! This chambray dress will be on repeat either on vacation or come spring, love this striped sweater and they have a quilted denim jacket that has a small print on it, and is a bit shorter to the one that I picked up from Nordstrom. Nice option.